How To Sell A Piece Of Shit Car In Style

Shares 0

Now this is how you sell a car. From Craigslist:

There is luxury in a Bentley, speed in a Ferrari, comfort in Bugatti.

For everything else, there’s this 1996 Nissan Maxima; aged 17 years.

Appropriately named, never before in history has a car had the words “time-tested” engraved into its lone spirit. Being offered up for sale I present to you a car that will make magic happen. It not only brings more admiring stares than any other car I have driven it also has seatbelts! Amazing!

This pavement-yacht has a ride as smooth as a Pegasus’ backside. Its such a massive and impressive land-yacht it requires the use of steering fluid that has been designed to leak out from underneath the car when it has been exhausted from the majestic work that it has done, released into the wild when the great Maxima when it has decided its time has come. This Maxima no longer needs to let the odometer tell it how far it has gone – it has chosen a path of greatness and valor and refuses to let silly numbers determine its life!

Only moments after sitting it its comfort of properly weathered leather you will hear the squeals of glee that the powerful V6 motors makes as it groans to life. You are at the command of a great ship, a warrior land-ship-yacht with scars to prove that it has indeed been to war and back! This steed of sorts will carry you from here and only by its grace will it allow you to get to where you are going at the mercy of its majesty!

Few have ridden its glorious wheels, and few more may see its greatness.

The orange Unifying Grasp and Lift safetY (aslo known as U.G.L.Y.) restrains the front hood to the maxima degree!
*No warranty is expressed or implied the vehicle will be sold AS-IS.
*No it is not “magic”

Asking 900.00 for this fine piece of history OBO.

I wouldn’t take this car if it was given to me, but I’ll take the laughs.

Shares 0

Comments

comments

Comments

comments